As it happened, the blizzard struck on the same day the company I'm employed by was taking inventory. Not only were we to work far into the night (at my age, 9:30 is far into the night) but also had to return early the following day for the computing part of the counting festival. No exceptions. The only way to be excused from the process was if you had a note from your mortician.
As I watched out the store window at the wind-blown blast, I debated my options. Cupcake, aware of the scheduled conditions, had insisted I pack some essentials in case I chose to hotel it close to the office. I'd complied grudgingly. I've braved some pretty hairy driving conditions just to sleep in my own bed. I was resolute a little snow would not stop me.
Until I looked outside, that is. It was snowing sideways. I watched as a sanding truck skidded out of control and did a three-sixty. Maybe the hotel idea wasn't so bad after all.
Phoning around for decent, discount accommodation went poorly. The least pricey place I found was $126.00, including tax which, given my late arrival and early departure, worked out to almost $16.00/hour. There are darned few things I would willingly pay that kind of dough for.
However, eyeing the crotch-deep snow (stupid 29 inch inseam) I finally deemed it my most prudent alternative. Picturing the perils of Devon Hill, once tonight and again the following day, chilled my blood colder than the Frosty the Snowman's knickers (Oh wait, he didn't wear clothes... hmmm..)
As soon as the last stock bin was counted, I fired up my trusty Kia, and followed the ruts down 184 Street to my temporary digs. For legal reasons I can't name the place but it rhymes with Gravelodge; a snot-nosed-kid-friendly hotel chain. It featured an arcade room, waterslide pool and the sound of little feet running up and down the hallways at all hours of the night with parental-sounding voices yelling at them to be quiet.
Inside the room I did the time-honoured routine of all hotel guests and turned on the lights, sampled the softness of the bed and checked the bathroom for thugs, miscreants and terrorists. I assured myself I was the only undesirable in the room and called Cupcake to tell her I was safely sheltered
“I know!” I told her excitedly, “how about you drive into town and join me? Drive slowly, of course. Safety first!”
Amazingly, she declined.
When I hung up from our too-short conversation, the silence in the room was deafening. Other than the thundering little footfalls outside my room from over-sugared yard-apes.
I switched on the TV.
Not being a TV person, none of the scrolling choices appealed to me and I switched it off in disgust. It didn't even have the Christmas Tree Channel.
I noticed a video game controller on the TV stand and fumbled with the remote to fire it up. Finally decent entertainment! I gulped in shock and disappointmnt that the selection of games available dated back to the months of Kim Campbell's short-lived government and the start of another disaster; the first Iraq War. Worse yet, the vultures at the hotel's pricing department wanted $6.95 plus tax per hour to play the creaky games. $6.95 an hour! Factoring in my previous computations, that would make an hour of Super Mario 3 cost over $23.00! I went back to my $16.00/hour TV hoping desperately the shows had gotten better since the last time I checked. I surfed briefly, ultimately settling on Howie Mandel's “Howie Do It”. Five minutes of that was all I could take before I turned it off again. Watching the blizzard was better than that.
I rummaged though my hastily thrown together overnight bag. I recalled packing a book and my hand-held Sudoku. I grabbed the book and headed for the bath. Nothing beats reading in the tub. I wondered on the way, however, how many other people had been in that tub and just how diligent the cleaning staff may of may not be.
I decided to skip the bath.
The bed, too presented some concern about it's previous occupants. I'd been reading articles about how bed bugs have become a problem. I decided to sit in the faux-leather chair by the desk to read. I hoped nothing icky could live in Naugahyde. I looked at the title of my fiction selection and sighed mightily. I'd began reading a three book sci-fi potboiler and noticed I'd inadvertently grabbed Book Two by mistake. I tossed it aside in frustration and played Sudoku til the battery died. I went to bed to escape the oppressive boredom.
Sleep eluded me amid the strange sounds in my lonely environment. I mulled over my new knowledge. Hotel rooms are way less fun without Cupcake.
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